[opening theme music]
Will somebody please cue that bird?
♪ Samurai pizza cats Oooh yeah!♪
♪ Who do you call when you want Some pepperoni?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza cats♪
♪ They're stepping out crime♪
♪ And you know That ain't baloney♪
♪ There's Speedy Cerviche, He's the leader of the bunch♪
♪ A heck of a fighter Makes a heck of a lunch♪
♪ And little Polly Esther Who's never afraid♪
♪ Of going into battle When the bad guys invade♪
♪ Here's Guido Anchovis, A wild romantic rover♪
♪ This cat gets down, down With a love hangover♪
♪ Here come the Pizza Cats They're so bad♪
♪ They've got more fur than any Turtle ever had!♪
♪ They're stronger Than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than dirt♪
Stronger than dirt.
♪ Step on their tails♪
Get off of my tail!
♪ And you're gonna get hurt♪
Don't hurt me!
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime All over town!♪
♪ Three, two, one, Pizza Cats are on the run!♪
♪ The Big Cheese is the villain, Who's lower than low♪
♪ It's a rotten shame He lives in Little Tokyo♪
♪ We've got a nasty Bad Bird And some nasty Ninja Crowes♪
♪ As soon as someone Finds the script♪
♪ We might begin the show♪
♪ Sit right back, Pick up your feet♪
♪ And turn the sound up high♪
♪ And if you want the full effect go eat a pizza pie!♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
[narrator] Lunch hour in Little Tokyo.
Hungry citizens win their way to the Pizza Cats pizzeria.
What explains the sudden popularity of these
culinary kitties?
Is it the sublime subtlety of their furball
and fish head special?
Or the rumor that The New Kids On the Block will be making
a personal appearance?
Whatever it is, it sure ain't the romantic atmosphere.
Here. Go. Hurry. -Okay.
-Here you go. -Coming, coming!
They think they've got it rough,
I have to push all these buttons.
Hurry, go, quick, faster!
-Keep your shirt on. -Keep your pants on.
-Keep off the grass. -[all] One, two, three, four,
what do you think we came for? Pizza, pizza!
Sheesh, I can't take much more of this. My dogs are killing me
if you pardon the expression.
This job's going to be the end of us, Speedy.
I don't care how many lives we're supposed to have.
Is it time for a commercial yet?
Hey, I've been sitting here for hours. Where's lunch?
Yeah, us too! Where's the eats?
Just a minute. Coming right up!
[yells]
Hot!
Guido, we've got a rush delivery,
do you want to take it?
Do I? And get out of this joint for a while?
Well, then, get moving.
Outta my way, pizza face.
[Francine] Attention, everyone.
You might want to cover your ears on the count of three.
One, two, oh, never mind!
Huh?
Uh-oh, looks like your aim was just a little off again.
[yells]
[narrator] Looks like Guido is out of control.
Will he be launched into permanent orbit, or will he be--
saved by the bell.
So much for cats landing on their feet.
[narrator] Meanwhile, business is still booming.
Oh, my fingers are going to fall off.
Give me a golden caviar, and I'd feel like Liberace.
Don't say that, you're much prettier than Liberace.
And speaking of pretty, things are going to get pretty ugly
around here if we don't get help soon.
Yeah, your right.
Hey, why don't we advertise
for some part time help, Francine?
Yeah, perfect. Huh?
[Polly] Guys, we're thinking of hiring another bus boy.
What do you think?
[both] That might be a good idea.
[kid] Hey, what do those squiggles mean?
It's all Greek to me. Can anybody here read Greek?
That's not Greek, it's Japanese.
This is a Japanese cartoon, remember?
The Pizza Cats are looking for part time help.
It says the pay is good.
Plus health benefits and free pizza.
You couldn't give me enough free pizza to ever make me want
to work in that madhouse.
That's nothing compared to making a delivery.
You get shot out of a big gun,
and half the time you hit a building.
Guy'd have be out of his mind to work with those nitwits.
[yelling]
You know, that job's worth considering.
Mom, forget it. If they let you into the kitchen,
they wouldn't have any pizza left to sell.
[chuckles]
Well, it does say the pay is good.
[Guido] I knew this place would be successful,
but when you said we'd clean up, I didn't think
it would be every night for three hours.
[groaning]
I'm as worn out as someone's old tooth brush.
I'm as pooped as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
Look at me, I'm as helpless as a kitten up a tree.
Oh, that's a great song. Johnny Mathis, isn't it?
[Francine] Don't give up, guys. There's always tomorrow.
Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.
Good evening.
Hey, what do you think this is, an all-night sushi stand?
We happen to be closed.
I've come about the part time position you wanted to fill.
[both] A sucker! Yahoo!
We got ourselves a sucker! We got ourselves a sucker!
You're for sure a sight for sore eyes.
How are you doing? Hey, you're going to love it here.
We're just one big happy family around here.
When do you think you can start? How about right now?
That sounds good to me.
It's-- It's him!
[screams]
Alright, what are you up to? What are you doing here?
Well, I want a job, what do you think?
Come on, Bad Bird. We know you're up to something.
You seem to know who I am, how's that?
I don't think we've met before, have we?
Huh?
[Guido] Psst, I don't think he recognizes us out
of our fight uniforms.
We're the Samurai--Oh!
Keep your big yap shut, Speedy.
The guy never met us before, get it?
Speedy? Is that Speedy Cerviche?
I thought I saw a fly on your head.
Anyway, what were we talking about Mr. Bird?
He called that cat Speedy, I heard him.
I don't know why. There's no one here named Speedy.
Actually, Mr. Bird, this cat here is named Flopsy.
And this one here is, uh, Muffin.
Flopsy? What sort of wimpy name is that? You out of your mind?
Muffin? What the heck is that? Sounds like something you eat
for breakfast.
Flopsy, Muffin, you two stop behaving like kittens,
and get back to work, got it?
Can't blame her for being touchy.
Yeah, with a name like hers. Oh, halibut breath.
You're saying I got bad breath?
One big happy family.
If you don't mind, we have a little aptitude test
we'd like you to take.
Okay, whoa!
[yelling]
[narrator] Meanwhile, the Big Cheese's latest evil
scheme has hit a snag.
What do you mean everybody stopped working on my latest
evil scheme?
The workers haven't been paid for three weeks, master.
So what? What right have those flunkies got to complain?
Is there some sort of flunkies union I'm not aware of?
What are they going to do, sue me?
Call Amnesty International?
Who cares that they haven't been paid?
Even crows have to eat, master.
I'll make them eat, crow. Imagine complaining about
their pay. They ought to be proud of providing slave labor
for the most brilliant criminal genius in the world!
Yuck.
[Francine] Gee, Mr. Bird. What a sad story.
I can imagine how difficult that's made things for you
and the other crows, not being paid in three weeks.
Yeah, so you can see why I need this job.
No offence, but I guess that's when you work
for a guy who's a creep.
[laughs]
Oh, I suppose you're right.
That's really touching, but I warn you not just anybody
can work for the Pizza Cats, no sir.
You got to have what it takes, right?
Don't be too depressed if you flunk that aptitude test.
We barely passed ourselves.
[Francine] I've got his results right here.
He didn't miss a single answer.
-Not a single one? -You're kidding!
He got every one? Even the one about where did Robinson Crusoe
go with Friday on a Saturday night?
This is getting ridiculous. What are we going to do?
If we let this crooked crow work with us,
it's really going to cramp our style.
I still can't believe he got that one right.
Last, we have the personality test to see if you're courteous,
and cheerful, and all that stuff.
-Me, courteous, cheerful? -Yeah, you know.
Do you have a nice smile, are you good with people,
that kind of thing.
Well, to be honest, I'm afraid that a nice smile
was never a requirement of my previous job.
Oh, I'm sure we can skip that part of the test, Francine.
I'm sure Mr. Bird's going to work out just fine.
Well, thank you, Flopsy.
I guess I can always work on improving my smile.
I'm sure you're going to be a big success.
The guy is going to be a disaster.
As soon as we get a crowd in here,
he'll show his true colors, and then he'll be out of here.
Oh, loose jail bird wandering the lonely streets
at a crow city. Haha, oh, sorry.
Hello!
Welcome everybody.
Step right up. We're all so happy to see you.
Our courteous staff is standing by serve you with a smile.
Yes, sir, what can I do for you? Your wish is my command.
By the way, did you ever see such a beautiful day?
I mean, wow.
-Anyway-- -Is he ever cheerful.
Here you go. Thank you. There you are.
Hope you like it. Here you go.
Is he ever courteous.
There you go, tiger.
Thank you, Mr. Waiter.
The guy's freaking perfect.
He's going to get us fired.
Mr. Bird, think you can handle a delivery?
With pleasure.
Muffin, Flopsy, you two still sitting around on your tails?
You can learn a thing or two
about improving your work habits from that guy.
Are you listening to me?
You ever have one of those days
when all you want to do is go back to bed?
[groan]
[Francine] Pay time, Mr. Bird. Here are your wages.
Well, thank you, but isn't this too much?
To tell you the truth, I slipped you a little bonus,
because I admire the way you've been working
your tail feathers off. You're an inspiration.
An inspiration, me? What a lovely thing to say.
Unlike some other people around here.
His bonus is coming out of our salary.
He's not only cramping our style, he's cramping our pay.
I'd like to cramp him.
Enough, Bad Bird. I don't want my employees doing anymore part
time work for the Pizza Cats.
From now on, you must concentrate full time
on my evil scheme.
-Yes, boss. -My latest scheme
is the egg bird here.
He's producing a liquified form of laughing gas,
with which I'll poison Little Tokyo's water supply.
He may not be house broken, but he's still impressive, hm?
So the entire population will be reduced to giggling idiocy.
Everyone will laugh at my jokes no matter how bad they are.
Outback walks into a bar.
Bartender says we don't get many outbacks in here.
The outback says, "Yeah, at this pace you won't get many more."
[both] Yeah, Dadadada-dada.
That's a good one.
[laughs]
[Francine] I slipped you a little bonus, Mr. Bird.
You're an inspiration.
No, I can't go back there. I've got to quit.
Welcome everybody.
No, I'm a bad guy. I belong here!
Step right up to the counter!
-No! -Isn't a beautiful day?
Stop it!
Welcome everybody!
There you go. Be right with you. Coming.
Enjoy your meal.
He's making us look really bad.
Yeah, but what are we supposed to do about it?
After all, we can't just fire him for no good reason.
I wonder whose idea it was to give it a try.
Alright, alright, it was me.
Next time, I'll keep my big mouth shut.
What's happening now?
He looks different.
[all gasp]
Look at that! Why is he glowing?
[narrator] Why? Because for the first time in his life,
Bad Bird is doing good instead of evil.
He's finally feeling what it's like to be a nice guy,
and it fill his heart with an indescribable joy.
Isn't that new bird they've got working here,
like, totally cute?
Oh, he's not my type.
He looks a little too much like a feather duster.
You ain't much to look at either!
[narrator] Well, you can't expect a guy
to change overnight.
[Speedy] Maybe Bad Bird's not all bad.
Maybe all he needed was a chance.
Sure, maybe Cincinnati will sweep Oakland.
-Watch it, will you? -Hey!
Come on!
Where's a fire?
[screaming]
-Oh! -Here he comes. Here he comes!
It's Bad Bird.
Oh, bless you, stranger.
Ma'am, it's nothing to get weepy about.
But listen everybody, while I've got you here,
I'd like to invite you all to the Pizza Cats pizzeria,
where pizza's are game, and friendly service
is out claim to family.
We've created Frankenstein.
If you'll excuse me.
Bad Bird here. What is it?
[Jerry] The Big Cheese's evil scheme is all set to go.
Rendezvous at the city reservoir at once, and remember,
it's your turn to bring the refreshments.
Understood.
[eerie music]
-[Speedy] What's up, Bird? -Hm?
Oh, hello there, Flopsy.
Dude, that name's going to drive me crazy.
Listen, before I go, I just want to thank you and all the others
for your faith and trust in me.
But where are you going? What about the Pizza Cats?
We'll always have Paris,
but now I've got a job to do, Flopsy.
Where I go, you can't follow.
What I got to do, you can't be any part of.
Oh, but I'll cherish the memories of our time together.
The laughter, the tears, the songs that we'd sing,
these were a few of my favorite things.
Funny, I don't remember any of that.
Do me a favor and say goodbye to the others.
And whatever you do, don't drink any water from the tap tonight.
What do you mean?
Farewell, Flopsy!
That name again!
Let's move, Pizza Cats.
The Big Cheese is doing something
to the city's water supply.
[Francine] Prepare to launch.
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They make great pizza But that ain't all♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats.♪
♪ They're ready to fight When you need them just call♪
♪ They know how to stop crime Just do as they say♪
♪ If you don't want a bad time, Stay out of their way! ♪
[Francine] Standby for emergency blast off.
For your own safety, we recommend you cover your ears
and move calmly and quickly to the nearest fire exit.
Remove all pocket change and expensive jewelry,
put them in an envelope and send them to us,
care of this station. Thank you.
Kaboom.
Ka-ping, Ka-powie.
Gee, wouldn't you like to fly through the air
like the pizza cats?
I prefer an airplane. At least you get mixed nuts and a movie.
[narrator] At that very moment across town
at the city reservoir.
Why do I feel so guilty? I should be enjoying this.
I got to get a grip on myself.
Go, egg bird. Poison the reservoir.
I'm a bad guy, and darn proud of it.
Yeah, me too!
-[Speedy laughs] -Huh?
I hear someone laughing.
One's enough, idiot.
Who is it? Who's out there?
[Speedy] Sheesh, you think you'd have a pretty good idea
who it is by now.
Yes, if we didn't show up like this in every episode.
Well, bird brain, I'll tell you who it is.
Your worst nightmare.
And we're ready to fight evil with the power of love.
Gotcha.
Alright, everybody, that's enough small talk.
Let's whop the creep.
[all] Pizza Cats!
Rats, how did you guys know I was up here?
We know every move you make.
And watch who you're calling rats.
We're the Samurai Pizza Cats.
You're history is what you are. Go get them.
[all] Oh, yeah?
[narrator] And with that, they leap into battle,
and what a battle it is.
Never before in the history of this episode
has there been such a fight.
Oh, do something, egg bird.
Alright, I'll blow my nose.
The reservoir!
I think's squirting some kind of pollutant in the water.
Don't they know it's national clean water week?
Hurry, the Samurai Tornado.
Yeah, that'll work.
I hope neither of you guys ate a heavy lunch today.
Oh, how pretty.
[narrator] Lunging into the water,
the tornado creates a vacuum,
which dispels the liquified laughing gas.
You can try this experiment at home with a pound
of rendered pig fat, and a motor.
Don't swallow it, it'll turn you into a laughing idiot.
[laughing]
What's the joke?
The joke's on you.
Ready or not, here I come.
[narrator] Speaking of things you can do at home,
you can make your own egg bird by taking two tire off
Daddy's car and bolting them to the refrigerator.
I think I'm stuck.
[narrator] On second thought, you might consider starting
a butterfly collection.
You scrambled egg. You can mess with the Pizza Cats,
but you can't mess with the city's drinking water.
Especially during national clean water week.
[narrator] You'd think the evildoers would know by now
not to get Speedy Cerviche mad, because when that happens.
It's never very long before he unsheathes
his magical Ginzu sword.
It chops, it dices, it "Philips",
it does everything but take out the garbage.
And when it appears, criminals better run for cover because--
Can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs. Yah!
[explosion]
Boy, what a temper.
But we'll be back. He who laughs last laughs last.
What in the name of pepperoni was I thinking?
Imagine him ever being a good person.
Hey, wait, I almost forgot.
Come on, time to do our pose, guys.
[both] Ta-dah!
So we failed again. How irritating.
I know you must be angry, but if you let me explain--
Oh, not again.
Angry? What makes you think I'm angry?
Just because of turning the color of tomato on my head,
it feels like it's about too--
Gee, I'm glad he wasn't angry.
-Here you go. -Coming, coming.
Okay, okay.
We're still in the same fix we were in before.
You know, I kind of miss having Bad Bird around.
[Jerry] Excuse me, are you still hiring?
[both] Are we hiring? You bet!
[all] Perfect. We can't wait to get started.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Samurai Pizza Cat fan club oath.
The Pizza Cats are samurai,
and I'd like to note:
their antics take your breath away
like fur balls in your throat.
We kittens are a special breed.
We never call a retreat.
Whenever Big Cheese knocks us down,
we land upon our feet.
[narrator] So hail to thee, oh, Pizza Cat.
Please ring your little bell.
Although you may be pen and ink,
-we know you'll fight like-- -Pizza Cats!
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ We hope you liked the show,♪
♪ It's the best That we could do♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ If you could do better, Then we'd leave it up to you♪
♪ Just a reminder, You might like to know♪
♪ The cats will be back For another big show♪
Oh, gosh.
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime Oh, yes♪
♪ All over town♪
♪ Two, four, six, eight♪
♪ Why do we expectorate?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
Read all the credits so you'll know who did the work.
♪ Samurai Pizza cats♪